59 days of loneliness

My feet drag along the sodden ground and I move tortuously up the boulevard. My parents gone, my soul trapped and my body entwined around the finger of somber. Engrossed in sadness, the melancholia capturing my serenity. My life is fake and optimism is right, life doesn't matter, reality is false. An oblivious figure ambled up to me then faded and I knew it was a hallucination, a wanting for the sight of life. My head swam, my conscience started waning and I sunk into the sludge, crying. Tear drops sunk into my skin and my hand shifted to the scar of my fear.
'Come' He had pleaded.
'I can't' I had bawled, knowing that if I go all hope would be lost.
He then left, the last sight of life gone, and alone I wait for the world to ebb away and perish. I perch on the grove where sorrow and agony fulfills me. Crumbling to the ground, I cry into the night,
'I'm sorry.'
But I knew grief was my fate and loneliness and being scandalized was meant to be. Defiance mounts into my lungs and I feel rebellious and enraged. Even a reprobate would give me confidence and meaning. 59 days, was the last word he said, the one who left me alone, but what does it mean? 59 days he repeated. 59 days, he said passively. 59 days left, he said frigidly. 59 days alone...

On the back of a wolf

The soft fur tingled as it touched my scarred and bloody hands. The forest floor creeps around us as if it's alive and trying to strangle us. We are stuck in the woods, bandaged , bruised, cut and prepared to die. As we descend down the moss I bend down to kiss the wolf on it's glittering, silky fur. Serenity was the only thing keeping me alive but it was falling from my grasp fast, and I couldn't get it back from the fear that was creeping up inside my body, prepared for the kill.

Come back (part two)

Come back,
I need you.
I'm sorry,
This wasn't meant to happen.
I shouldn't have said that,
It was the wrong thing to do.
Please forgive me,
I need you more than ever before.
We can work it out together,
If you would just turn around.
We can make things right,
Just please try.
We will be together,
If you would just believe it can happen.
Keep protecting,
We need to be safe.
Don't leave me,
You're the only thing keeping me alive.
Don't go away,
You're my hope and my love.
Look at me,
You're eyes are warmth.
Smile,
It will keep me going.
I'd clasp you're hand and never let go,
But I never get the chance
I've broken free from my terror for you,
But you don't seem to care.
See the world at a different glance,
And you'll see the happiness I've forged for you.
After many years I've lived in misery,
Now that I'm happy why won't you be happy with me.
If you wanted me so badly,
Then why aren't you coming back.
I told you to leave me,
But that was in the time when I felt miserable.
You're face is perfect you're laugh is pleasant.
I want to hear it again.
Every thing used to be just right,
It can be like that again.
All you're doing is cowering I a corner,
I've offered you my hand why don't you take it.
I'm so sorry just come back,
I've told you so many times.
Please, please forgive me,
That way we can finally live in peace.

Leave me (part one)

Leave me,
I don't won't to see your face.
Go away,
Your tears are torture.
Send me to an island,
Where fear won't posses me.
Flee from my sight,
I don't want it to happen again.
Go live in peace,
I don't want my heart broken.
Stop feeling misery,
That's my job.
Stop it,
It's bad enough already.
Stop worrying,
you'll only make it worse.
Stop protecting,
Death will come anyway.
In the end we won't be together,
So stop trying to make things right.
You can't change fate,

It's meant to be.

Stop trying to fix everything,

It's only making it worse.

If you want me to be happy,

Then leave me alone.

Happiness will only come,

If you stop thinking about me.

My hearts already in two,

I don't want it broken more.

All is lost,

You can't do anything.

Leave me alone,

I've told you already.

Just let me go,

It's the only way.

Royal

I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to strut a castle in layers and layers of silk and petticoats, or a dress big enough to hold the entire palace up. I never wanted to walk around in fluffy pink high heels that would leave blisters or make me wobble and fall and I told EVERYONE my favorite color is black. I never wanted to not be able to climb a tree or not be able to get my face dirty or scratched for I had to wear make-up that would peel and itch. I didn't want to hear screams and cries when I go outside or have bare feet on, then to hear,
'My poor baby, you could have died.'
I never wanted to only be able to stay inside and walk the hallways or be the life of every ball (and there is a lot of balls) even though I would MUCH rather sit in a corner and be ignored. You might want this, but I don't. I mean, I'm just living an ordinary life in an ordinary world and I'm just an ordinary girl, or at least I was. I used to want all this. I used to dress up in my mums clothes then prance around the house. I used to put on make-up and pretend I was a princess. I used to want to have a ball and I'd get my rusty disco ball out and dance. My mum used to force me to go outside even though I whined and complained. My dream was to become a princess. But one night I told my parents they were the worst and that living in a castle would be so much better, and one night it happened. A curse was bestowed upon me and I could never leave the castle and do nothing till I died. As the guards took me to beyond the hills I kicked and fought then screamed for my parents. Every day is torture. Every second is misery, and one day I decided I had had enough. I fled from the castle walls, my travelling cloak billowing behind me. I escaped from the boundaries. But one night, when all was quite, I fell into darkness and never. Stopped. Falling...

A journey

I wandered around the sea rocks, my head held high and my tail flicking in the air. I leaped up then perched myself onto the highest branch and silkily wound my way up the tree until I could gaze across the entire ocean. I heard a voice call but the cold breeze that gushed across my face held me back. I watched the sea ripple and break. I saw the trees sway in the strong breeze. I saw the pebbles bounce across the sand. but best of all, the moon.

Fear

Screaming rung in my ears.
Tears splattered on the ground.
Footprints circled me.
Fear spreading.
Life is dreading.
Children bedding.
People dying.
Minds are lying.
All is lost.
In the snow and frost.
No air to breathe.
No seed to seed.
All life is gone.
All black and dark.
Nothing to save you.
Nothing to brave you.
The only thing that ends is life.
All is war and dreaded strife.

Losing hope

Have you ever wondered what it would be like knowing that you would never be able to live again. Have you ever imagined being trapped and left in pain to die. Have you ever thought what it would be like to be cursed forever and knowing that your parents are being fooled and thinking you're all right or alive. Then imagine breaking your parents hearts, them realizing your gone and thinking it was your plan all along. Now think of the worst pain you can ever imagine, then think of feeling that sensation for thousands of cursed years. Now imagine having all these things in your life, a life like mine. You might think your unlucky when you don't get a biscuit in your lunch then whine and complain. You might want to commit suicide when your not allowed a sleepover. Think again. My eyes are bloodshot. My hair is lank. My clothes are ragged. My soul is torn. My life is despair. All I want to do is die, but I can't. Now think what your saying to your mum next time she doesn't let you have a piece of cake. I'm trapped in a body that's not mine, forced to kill mankind, even my parents. Dumbfounded and losing my mind, I will never be able to breath. Life could never be worse.

A wish

A star, a light, a guide.
A dream come true.
Rising with power, feeling, predicting.
The brightness in grey.
Shining upon those who believe.
Leaving you with love.
Wishing upon the brightest star,
always brings smiles.

Come to me

Say something,
I want to hear.
Touch me,
I want to feel.
Open my eyes,
I want to see.
Stroke my nose,
I want to smell.
Walk and laugh.
I want to have fun.
Smile,
I want to have an emotion.
Come to me,
Be my guide.

Lost

"Help"
The only word I knew, or ever heard. The last thing I remembered until my mind was wiped blank. The word of hopelessness and wanting, and it was all I knew about life. My clothes were ragged and torn but if anyone thought I cared they were wrong. When I saw the thing people called 'trees' I would stare up at them with amazement. When I tried thinking about my past my eyes would screw up in thought, but all I'd see would be blackness. When I found lights I was reminded of a world with answers. When people asked questions I'd be terrified and scream,
'help'
This was all my life was about. The result I had been left with was to just not think about it, but the thought always came through my barrier of peace. Peace. The opposite of what was meant to be. Death. My fate. Strangled and hollow. Broken and bashed. Tied up and stabbed, this was my life. Complaints I don't hear. Whining is ignored. People crying over which bowl you have is unthoughtful. The only source of knowing was too watch others TV screens, and even then I was lost and frightened. I couldn't defend myself. I couldn't say no. I couldn't wonder or have ideas. But what I could have is pain. Pain. The only thing I was allowed to feel. Death. The only thing I was allowed to see. Screams. The only thing I was allowed to hear. Blood. The only thing I was allowed to smell. 'Help.' The only I was allowed to say. Misery. The only emotion. Life. What was pleaded for. Memory. The biggest wish.

Bodies part 2

I stood there, waiting for my friend Faith. When I spotted her then was about to rush over to where  she was but she got there first. I started talking about the concert we were planning to go to but Faiths gaze was unfocused and I knew she wasn't listening. I tried communicating to her but she was off in another universe. I walked on without her then my gaze fell on a body with it's eyes rolled into it's skull and he had a petrified look. I kept walking without looking back but when I saw another body I broke into a run. I then saw another and another and fear was bubbling inside. I then heard a scared and faraway voice call,
'Alicia,'
and I turned the other way. I then saw her sprawled across the ground and shock spread across my face.
'Faith don't go, don't leave me,' I cried.
But she was gone and there was nothing I could do to save her...

Motionless. part one

I lay there, staring into space as I got up and ripped the duvet off the bed. I then rushed around the house, waiting for my friend Alicia. I spotted her, then sprinted over to where she stood. A conversation started and a few words popped up like, prolific, vacancy and concert, but I wasn't listening. My head was spinning, my mind was blank and I struggled to keep the world in focus. Suddenly my knees buckled and I limped, barely alive. My voice was hoarse and I managed to croak,
'Alicia'
before I fell to the ground were other bodies already lay. A pair of eyes fell on me and I saw shock spread. But what happened next, I don't know.