Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Men in cloaks

I walk into the forest and creep along the rocky path. I hold my breath and shiver as the wind flows through my hair. I glance around and suddenly become surrounded by men in hooded cloaks. I scream and try to run but they’re too quick. They throw a sack over me and I fall unconscious. When I awake I fell rocks and gravel shift below me and I bang my head on the roof, all was black. Finally we arrived and I fell on icy marble.
“You spilled our darkest secrets and ruined our plan,” they said angrily.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Violet - well done with you're writing for this week's 100WC. I really like how you've used a repeating pattern of sentences linked with 'and' as this really builds the tension up and your ending is excellent as it really adds tension and suspense. Just take care to keep to the tense that you mean to rather than swapping from present to past in the same paragraph. Great writing - well done :-)